The Oil Tanker Bladder System
A giant rubber bladder that lines an oil tanker, so a spill stays inside the ship. Simple. Elegant. Requires one very large rubber ball and one very tall building to prove it.
Stage: live demonstrationPre-seed · Pre-revenue · Pre-everything
Ideas so big they need an intern.
Kramerica Industries is a diversified innovation company operating out of a rent-controlled apartment across the hall from a comedian. We move fast. We break things. Mostly the things belong to Jerry.
7Active product linesUp from 6 this morning
1Employee, part-time, unpaidPending NYU review
$0Trailing revenueGiddy-up
YesLevels in the apartmentBet Jerry it’d happen
Strategic partnersNewman LogisticsFrank Costanza (garments)Poppie’s (dough)Bob SacamanoThe Human Fund
The pipeline
More products than people.
Every Kramerica idea starts the same way: somebody says it can’t be done, and Kramer has already left the room to do it.
The Coffee Table Book About Coffee Tables
A book about coffee tables that folds out into a coffee table. Includes a coaster. Was on Regis.
Stage: shippedThe Bro (or the Manssiere)
Support for the modern man. Co-developed with Frank Costanza, who has strong opinions about the name.
Stage: naming disputeMake Your Own Pie
A pizza place where you make your own pizza. Customers roll the dough. Poppie has concerns about hygiene, which is rich.
Stage: cucumber incidentManhattan Rickshaws
Human-powered transit for the urban core, with Newman. Driver recruitment is ongoing and has already lost one rickshaw.
Stage: down one rickshawThe Beach
A cologne that smells like you just came from the beach. Calvin Klein passed. Calvin Klein then did it. Litigation is a rumor.
Stage: unresolvedThe Peterman Reality Tour
Three hours on a bus through the actual events of Kramer’s life, as sold to J. Peterman for his autobiography. Refreshments: one muffin.
Stage: departingLive demonstration
We dropped a ball of oil off a building.
To prove the bladder holds, Kramerica filled a giant rubber ball with oil and dropped it from a high window. The bladder did not hold. The street did. The intern took notes. We consider this a learning.
Investors are invited to stand at a distance we are still calculating.
Test 01 · Rubber bladder, 1 unit
The team
Lean by design. Also by circumstance.
CK
Cosmo Kramer
Founder · Chief Everything
Visionary. Idea generator. Owner of the only key. Has never once knocked.
D
Darren
Intern · NYU (status pending)
Handles field research, note-taking, laundry, and the sandwiches. NYU has withdrawn the credit. Darren has not withdrawn.
N
Newman
Logistics partner
Brings the mail truck, the route knowledge, and a strong opinion about Michigan bottle deposits. Weather-dependent.
BS
Bob Sacamano
Senior advisor
Has advised on every product. Has been seen by no one. Reachable through Kramer only.
Investor relations
Leave a message for the founderGet in before the levels.
Kramerica is raising an undisclosed amount from anyone who will listen. Terms are flexible. Meetings are held in the apartment, or in Jerry’s, depending on who has food.