Meatloaf on lettuce
The centerpiece. The lettuce is not a salad. Do not treat it as a salad.
A charitable organization, technically
Money for People.
The Human Fund gives money to people. Which people? People. Founded by George Costanza in place of a holiday gift, we have grown into the most trusted charity that does not exist.
Holiday card · Original
A donation has been made in your name to The Human Fund.
Money for People.
Happy Holidays — George
$20,000Largest gift, from Kruger Industrial Smoothing, made in the names of its employees
100%Of donations go to people, in the sense that George is a person
0Audits passed. One audit attempted. Festivus was explained.
Dec 23Festivus. The rest of us. Pole up by noon.
Our story
It started with a card.
Every office has the gift problem. George solved it with a card announcing a donation to a charity he had made up that morning. The card was so convincing that his employer donated twenty thousand dollars to the charity, in the names of the staff, which is the kind of growth most nonprofits wait decades for.
When accounting asked to see the charity, George explained that his family does not celebrate Christmas. His family celebrates Festivus. Accounting was invited to dinner. Accounting came. This section of our website is the result.
DONATION RECEIPT
- Donor
- Kruger Industrial Smoothing
- In the names of
- All employees
- Amount
- $20,000.00
- Program
- People
- Tax status
- Aspirational
Beneficiaries servedUnspecified
The official holiday of The Human Fund
Festivusfor the rest of us.
Born in the Costanza household as a protest against the commercialism of the season, Festivus has a pole, a dinner, a list of complaints and a wrestling match. It is the only holiday whose traditions can be finished in one evening, and it is not over until they are.
December 23 · Every year · Whether you like it or notThe Festivus Pole
Aluminum. Very high strength-to-weight ratio. No decoration. Frank finds tinsel distracting.
Tradition 1
The Airing of Grievances
Dinner begins when the head of the household tells everyone at the table all the ways they have disappointed him over the past year. Add yours. The pole is listening.
Tradition 2
The Feats of Strength
Festivus is not over until the head of the household is pinned. Choose your challenger.
Tradition 3
The Festivus Dinner
Meatloaf on a bed of lettuce. Served without comment. Comments come later, and are the point.
Tradition 4
The Festivus Miracle
The menu
What’s served at a Festivus dinner.
A traditional meal. Nobody has asked for it to be traditional. That is how tradition works.
Something Kramer brought
Usually a bagel. Occasionally a bag of bagels. He has been at H&H for twelve years and is owed.
The grievances
Served with the meal, over the meal, and in some years instead of the meal.
Give
Send a cardMake a donation in someone’s name.
Announce it on a card. Say nothing else. When they ask what The Human Fund does, say “Money for People,” and look them in the eye. That is the whole program.