Clothing for people who have been somewhere, or would like it to appear that they have
Cover
The City
It combines the spirit of old Mexico with a little big-city panache. Wear it to a meeting you would rather not attend, and watch the meeting reschedule itself.
Brim Twenty-six inches · Material Woven straw, sincerity · Sizes One
$168 Ask, quietly.
The Executive
A man named Morty, in a lobby in Florida, explained with enormous patience that he had removed the belt from a trenchcoat in 1946, and that the world had been slow to thank him.
Belt None. Deliberately · Origin Morty Seinfeld, 1946 · Sizes S–XL
$398 Morty would like to discuss it.
The Expedition
Base camp, 1994. A Sherpa named Tenzing, though not that Tenzing, looked at my boots and laughed for an uncomfortable length of time. Then he showed me his. This is his.
Sole Yak-tested · Altitude Any, with regret · Sizes 7–13
$245 Less than a Sherpa.
Page two
The Holiday
Aluminum, for its very high strength-to-weight ratio. No tinsel; Mr. Costanza finds it distracting. Stand it in a corner on the twenty-third and air your grievances one at a time.
Material Aluminum · Tinsel None · Height Six feet
$88 For the rest of us.
The Undergarment
Support for the man who needs it. The straps are wide and do not apologize; it fastens in front. Two inventors, two names, no agreement. Also sold as the Manssiere.
Support Considerable · Closure Front · Sizes M–XXL
$62 Per name.
The Library
A book about coffee tables that unfolds into one. The legs fold away; a coaster is built into the cover so it may be set upon itself. Signed by the author, whether you asked or not.
Pages Two hundred and twelve · Legs Four, folding · Coaster Built in
$45 Less than a coffee table.
Page three
Complete in ink. He reads them himself, which is why it takes as long as it does.
| Description | Size | Qty | Price | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| The Urban Sombrero | One | $168 | ||
| The Executive Raincoat | S–XL | $398 | ||
| Himalayan Walking Shoe | 7–13 | $245 | ||
| The Festivus Pole | One | $88 | ||
| The Bro | M–XXL | $62 | ||
| The Coffee Table Book | One | $45 | ||
Post toThe J. Peterman Company · Owner’s Manual No. 43
A town I cannot pronounce, by a man I have not met
No payment with orderAn invoice follows, in his own time.
A fictional catalog. Nothing is for sale, nothing can be ordered, and no payment is taken anywhere in it — which is why there is nowhere on this form to write a card number. See the back cover for who built it.
gatewaywebstrategy.comPage four
Every Pixel Has Purpose
The J. Peterman Company does not exist. This catalog, the website it came from, the film on its front page and the order form on page four were designed and built as a demonstration — one of four fictional businesses in A Portfolio About Nothing, each given what a real client gets: a strategy, a look of its own, and a site built around what the business needs to do.
gatewaywebstrategy.comAn independent fan concept. Not affiliated with Seinfeld, its creators, cast or rights holders. Nothing here is for sale and no payment is collected anywhere in it.
Back cover